Don’t read it… I wrote it just because i had too. It’s not meant for general reading. For some reason i didn’t mark it private. It might not feel good.
I am Anuj Choudhary.
I am addicted to cursing myself.
It’s my favorite time pass.
I love being in pain.
I am always pained.
I have lost control over my thoughts.
I don’t feel things like nature, music, art etc..
I am never sure what I want to do the next moment.
I love being lonely and pained with myself.
I think way too much and do very less.
I value everything more than myself.
I need help.
I hate being helped.
I won’t listen to anyone but myself.
I am trying to accumulate the courage to face myself.
I have become very stubborn, no one can teach me anything.
I keep forgetting everything. Everything.
I act happy but I am always sad.
I am wounded but never limp.
I love to show off.
I exaggerate everything I tell.
I don’t lie much though anymore.
I never stick to my deadlines.
I am good for nothing.
I have failed a lot of people who trusted me. I always do that.
I am very selfish, I spend days without even thinking once about my parents and brother.
I am very materialistic.
I know how to do things right, but never follow them myself.
I want to achieve everything effortlessly and at once.
I can’t wait.
I am very inefficient .
It’s very east to scare me.
“I can’t do it” – this feeling is very strong inside me.
I am very vulnerable.
I didn’t live up to my expectations.
I have many talents but lack the sincerity to use any of them properly.
I know a lot of things but nothing properly. Things which I know
I am always confused. It’s very tough to opt for one thing among many.
I remember all my mistakes, but I hardly make the required amount of efforts to correct them.
I don’t like myself.
It’s very difficult for me to forgive myself. Very difficult.
I can always forgive others for anything and everything.
I am responsible for everything that goes wrong when I am involved.
I don’t know how to do things right.
I can’t let things go.
It’s very tough for me to move on.
I don’t like people doing me favors.
I don’t like things and i don’t understand this society.
I am always angry with myself but rarely with others.
I don’t admire myself either.
I think I am good for nothing.
Everything looks way too beyond my reach.
I am never able to convince myself to think logically through all the possibilities before taking up a task. I am always serious and get tensed over every small & big things, things which I take way too much time to realize that they are small.
I never think myself as capable of doing something, but I just give it a try so that I used to hate myself but that’s one thing that I don’t do anymore.
I wake up everyday and try to feel good.
Everyday I try to get rid of these feelings.
I once got rid of all these and then found that I was not Anuj anymore.
Anuj is supposed to be always pained and dejected.
I am very sensitive. It’s very easy to hurt me. I do mind a lot of things, but express that only sometimes.
I am afraid of change.
I hate it when someone says that I am good. I pity them as they know nothing.
I am very ambitious but lack the determination to accomplish them.
I never did anything completely and properly.
I like to give up just few steps before the destination and then feel happy that at least I came this far.
I am waiting to cross the line at least once.
I can keep on telling things about me but I guess these things summarizes everything.
Wish me luck. I have a lot to get right for a lifetime.
PS: In case you read it please don’t write comments I will delete them. Telling something to me is waste of your time. I don’t need anyone’s help. I will figure out a way to get rid of it. I have to do it myself. A lot depends on it.