Here is the list of stuff I wanted to buy as soon as I get  out of college and start earning hard cash.

Macbook – The oldest dream of a geek The new macbook which just released yesterday is making me drool all over the place.

Ipod – I wanted to buy an I-pod all the time, but somehow always ran out of cash when the day came to buy it

DSLR – This is a latest crush, but really want it I am not at all satisfied by the quality and control my digicam gives me

Iphone – It’s the old crush, I don’t want it anymore Now i want an Android which runs on a 1Ghz processor

Now i want this to begin with

Barnes and Noble Nook – then i want a e-book reader

I can have all that but for some reason or other I am not able to lay hands on any of these

The reasons are all good but I am getting a lot more desperate these days when all the big cash comes in hand and goes

#update

Headphones :  I forgot about the headphones Amod reminded me that the list is just imcomplete without it, so here goes BOSE Quite Comfort headphones 

I couldn’t resist putting this article on my blog. I was always planning to write one article like this, but i am sure that I couldn’t have done a better job. For my friends who are not from India IITians are the graduates of Indian Institute of Technology group of Engineering colleges of India and for considered to be an overdose of Intelligence. Here goes the article.

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Contrary to popular belief, the vast majority of IITians do nothing of note in their lives. Indeed, many of them became IITians because their parents told them that’s what they should mug their butts off for, and aim to hit the US of A, so that’s what they did. They attended classes, took notes, passed exams, took the gre, applied to a dozen American universities, and disappeared into that country’s vast technological underbelly, to reappear only in the matrimonial columns of Indian papers with a dollar salary multiplied diligently by the day’s exchange rate. Or they stayed in India, working at unexceptionable jobs, doing reasonably well. In either case, they got beautiful brides (often from rich families) and presumably lived happily ever after, meeting classmates once a month and chatting about their IIT days, and how Hippo has just changed jobs, and Zap is three rungs away from the top in Cisco Systems. Each of them had intelligence well above the average, and most, exceptional academic tenacity.

A decade and a half out of IIT, I wonder how many of us IITians achieved our potential? How many went to seed in remote dusty townships, tending massive pipelines and drinking in the township club? How many wilfully walked away from their natural talents in favour of safe MNC jobs selling diapers and hire-purchase schemes? How many, trained to think rationally and without bias, never managed to figure out the nuances of Indian office politics, and were relegated to obscure corridors in huge buildings? How many, obsessed with the American dream, settled for second-rate US universities, hung in for a green card, and today work at unfulfilling jobs in Idaho?

There’s another angle too to this. How many IITians, determined to stay engineers and in India, ignored the siren songs of the USA and the IIMs, and joined Indian industry, only to find that all the technical designs came from abroad, that you couldn’t change them even if you knew they were flawed, that all the engineering you got to do was maintenance, and knowing all that, they either settled into mediocrity, or went off to the US or the iims?

What was my IIT education all about? It was about IITians: 400 academically exceptional boys (and 12 girls) on a campus, which, in the case of Kharagpur, where I went, was far enough from civilisation to have very interesting effects on our coming of age. Many of us were truly extraordinary. There were boys from village schools who were leagues ahead in knowledge of the urban convent-educated type. There were those who mugged night and day, or simpered at professors from first benches, and there were those who also had a vibrant and busy life outside academics. I’ve found that the latter did better in life, even in fields like pure research. I also had friends who never needed to study, they had been apparently born with engineering wisdom in their genes. There were guys who spent most of the semester in a drug haze, but sobered up a few days before the exams, cracked them, and went back to their pharmaceuticals. Others did not have such control. Like Allen Ginsberg, I too saw some of the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness. A few dropped out (I met one of them years later in Shillong, a stridently devout convert to Catholicism, and a lowly government clerk, but he seemed happy), a few killed themselves. But, most of us survived. I suppose we became tougher, more mature, more knowing, and more aware of our dark sides.

We lived and ate together, and shared our joys and heartbreaks and good times and bad times, in competition and camaraderie. We compared our philosophies and, bit by stumbling bit, developed our value systems. Never were stronger bonds forged between young people. Years from now, if I meet an IIT wingmate on the road, I know we will carry on as if nothing had changed, and nothing actually would have. A couple of years ago, there was a small visual trick on an Outlook cover, which was my idea. A close IIT friend, whom I had not been in touch with for years, called up from Singapore: “Some other name is mentioned in the cover credits, but it was your idea, right? I know the way you think.” No one knows me better than these mates of mine from IIT.

IIT was also a whole insular world in itself, complex and complete, and it sucked us in. As The Chosen, we lived a full life with no necessity of any contact with the outside world. Totally cut off from politics and “the bigger issues”, our delights remained in competing fiercely on the field or the stage with other hostels or other colleges. There were few material pleasures. Lifestyles were spartan, the food abysmal. The vast majority of males were totally deprived of female company. The girls lived a strange life-on the one hand, they were hounded by dozens of would-be suitors; on the other, they faced the petulant hostility of the majority which saw them as undeserving of so much adulation and so many free lunches.

When we graduated, we went out into the world with a rare confidence and strong tribal loyalties. The confidence eroded a bit over the years, and we learnt some humility when we discovered non-IITians as smart as we were, and also people who could outwit us because they were intelligent in a different way-in a sly political way-an acumen we had not developed in our isolated environment which, above all, inculcated a sense of fairness and a respect for ability. We came to terms with a world that compared poorly with our beloved campus, and some of us even went ahead and conquered it. Others didn’t do well, but knew that the ties between them and the masters-of-the-universe classmates would never change. They were ties born of the pride of being an IITian. That pride would never diminish.

It never can.

Here is the link to the article on Outlookindia.com http://www.outlookindia.com/article.aspx?209444

It was a lazy morning and I had to be awake since I big-mouthed on facebook about going to the bird park even if the world topples over . My friend kicked me before leaving for office and finally I woke up an hour later when my other roommate was leaving for airport at 7:30AM. I bid him farewell and a happy journey to home in India. I woke up and by the time I got ready and decided to skip the breakfast and head straight out – the rain happened. It was a heavy downpour and I finally made breakfast and ate it too and the rain precisely stopped by the time I was finished filling up. That’s the nature’s way of making you do stuff Parents are more direct

Anyways no-one responded to that facebook message I left late in the night to join for the trip and I head out all alone with my cam and my bag.  Going alone on a park visit and hike and stuff SUCKS. I hate it for two reasons, there is no one to share the experience and say “it was aweeesommmeee”  and secondly I never had to. With all the friends out there in college I can very easily find a partner minutes after I change the status to something that’s remotely Interesting.

Anyway, here the trip begins at 10:00 AM in the morning with ticket in hand and all thanks to the rain god for showing extreme mercy yet still holding the post by keeping the sun away for the whole day. It was a perfect day for bird watch. Cloudy and perfect light for photography and the trees will be all wet just the way I like it in the woods.

From here it will be a picture story. The pictures are in the order I visited the whole place. I particularly spent a lot of time feeding and playing with the birds at the place where they were flying all over me and believe me they bit me a lot I will upload a video of it soon.

A lot of frustration taking over these days, here are some primary reasons…

The Room I am living in preety much sucks, and the worst part is I can’t even change It even though I am ready to pay for it.

The company I am working for is practically paying me half of what is generally paid to people who work here.

I am earning a lot more than I would have earned in India and certainly saving a lot more as i don’t have to pay for accommodation as of now, but again the accomodation is the primary reason for frustration.

I am not sleeping well these days as the apartment doesn’t have an AC and it’s quite hot here in nights. I am not in a position to rent a new flat as i don’t know whether  i will be here for an year or not.

I am really getting pissed. The company is not ready to accept to proposal of hiring a better flat and we paying the overdue amount. That sucks too. So basically the company doesn’t give a rat’s ass about the way their employees stay. I have interacted with a lot of HR folks but it’s the worst kind here.

I feel like I am making a fool out of myself by working here. The exposure was supposed to be good here. I was supposed to be  working on large scale projects. That doesn’t look like happening anytime soon.  The market is in a poor state. There are no new projects coming our way. The company is a production site and not really worried about the design part much. I was lucky enough to get enrolled in the training of a spohisticated package which will help, but there are no projects as of now to apply that knowledge to.

In the meantime I finally got some work to learn the hydrodynamic analysis of Semi-submersible. Any other day when I am in good mood I would have jumped to the opportunity and would have torn-through the assignment. But not this time.

This time I am pissed.I am sleep deprived.  I am not thinking clearly. I am angry. I feel like being taken advantage of. I am not fine with it. I am worth more.

I am pissed because I feel I am not making the correct use of my time. Partly I am to blame and partly the circumstances.  But if I look at it another way.

I have a whole lot of resources at my disposal, I am in a position to say I don’t want to do this and rather do that. I can read and learn a lot. I have already added a lot of concepts and a few analysis under my belt already. I have been making quite a lot of friends and had great time with them.  I am in a new country learning about a new culture and have a job in the time of  recession(that sounds like an excuse).

I am a bit confused. Should I make the switch or stay here and learn more about the cruel world. From the thought of cruel world, I can’t really give-in to it. It will devour me if it’s given a chance to do so.  I should fight against it. But there are always a few compromises that one has to make. I am ready to compromise on some comfort If I am sure that I will achieve what I really want to.

The yard experience is a must in the career of a Naval Architect and that’s what I am trying to get here.  I will be going on an inclining this friday and that will be a big-experience addition. I know a lot of Naval Architects who had never been to one. I don’t want to be like that. Just I will have to do something about the accommodation issue.

All these small frustration are part of the cycle. They keep coming for something or other and I keep writing them off.  There are a bunch of things to cope up for.  One being to accept the fact that you are a fresher again and expecting top-notch assignments at this early stage is slightly asking too much. We get used to be on top of things and hierarchy by the time we pass out from college. Have to shed that attitude of.

Another being the expectation to be treated like an elite. Like the world revolves around you. We don’t behave like that openly but a part of it remains in you.  When everyone around you reminds you everytime that you are born to do great things, you are a genius etc it will make an impact on the way you think no matter how immune one might try to act. One may be destined to do great things but that great thing is the destiny and not the one to begin with. One might be a genius, that just means he has to work harder to achieve what he wants to. If you are a genius then it’s very much possible that you are working on a tougher and far more involving problem compared to others who are happy solving their regular of puzzles. So depending on the difficulty you might end up getting more worked up.

Also a part of the adjustment is to learn to filter a lot of involving discussion about how your work sucks and how the boss was acting all jerky today and how your colleague’s friend is earning twice than u are while doing the same job. How your company is trying to suck the marrow out of your bones and still treat you like junk. I hate this world.  I hate my job. I hate my manager. I hate my HR. I hate my boss Have to start taking them lightly.

Oh!!! So many things.. Sure the transition from college to job is a big one.

Saturday :

Office in the morning

sleep in afternoon

Celebrate a friends b’day in the evening

help a friend buy new cellphone

do some late-night photography

Sunday :

Sentosa Island(underwater aquarium, feeding dolphins ) trip in the Morning til evening

Upload photos to facebooketc.

rest for some time and go for fishing with some collegues in the night.

Monday :

Jurong Bird Park in the Morning

Still to plan for the afternoon and evening

Will be reading the new outliers book  by Malcolm gladwell for the rest of the day

I want to travel a lot and see the world with my own eyes, hear it with my very own pair of big ears and smell it with my long-nose and try to taste it with my in-sensitive taste buds( thanks Insti Mess food) and feel it with my own hands.

I told a bunch of friends in college that i want to visit at least 5 countries in the coming 2 years. The first destination was Singapore where I am staying presently.

The next will be Malaysia next month. yippy…

@all my friends – please suggest all the places that are worth a visit. Please factor that I wanna see the real Malaysia in it’s truest form and colors and in it’s very pure grandeur. I will be personally getting in touch with a few friends from Malaysia here in Singapore to gather more information.

I feel there will be a lot more to Malaysia than KL. All the big cities look the same.I want more.

I am feeling such a mixture of emotions that it’s really becoming impossible to filter out all the ingredients that are making the soup sour for me.  The major player in making it tough is the face that I probably, deep down, don’t want to accept the reason for this really-really strong feeling. It’s making my heart feel like a heave stone and my head is on overload trying to process the whole shipload of information all the organs including himself is sending to it.

Look up.. Move ahead..

Well since I write for my friends and you are the one’s I can really speak about it to freely I will try to open up. I don’t really want it to sound as if I am in pain. I am not in pain I am below a shipload feeling really heavy and I am not frustrated but just feeling like someone who is sitting alone on a saturday evening at a room with a fan and wasting time on internet when he really wants to be having a blast with a good happy bunch. My roommates went to the swimming pool which really didn’t feel like the best way of  spending the later half of the evening. Thought of going to buy a cheap digi-cam(though i wanted a really heavy DSLR initially) but can’t really afford it right now, still having a camera right-now feels more important to me than not having at all, anyway I am not a pro and a decent 6-7K INR digicam should suffice for now.

Also dropped the idea of buying a high-end cellphone. The idea behing buying it was to support my random-enthusiasm which suddenly comes in bits when I want to note a particular thought, or want to record a sentence or two, or take a snap of something important,or manage my list of groceries and manage the to-do list.. But I have to do without it and will have to depend on my sanity more than “google calendar”. Will do for the time being. I wanted it most to sit and write at places like cafeteria, buses and signals or in a mall. These places fill me with thought and I really get “pissed” when I am not able to capture that moment or idea. I forget it most of the times a few instants later .

Somehow I don’t want to compromise anymore notwithstanding the standing fact that I always had to. Something probably this maddy taught me. Right now I am probably experiencing in person the fact that regardless of how much you earn it always feels less I know someone would ask me to control the desperation and stay cool for some time and everything will fall in place. I am trying yet nonetheless failing miserably at it.

All said and done I still haven’t told the real deal. I am a guy and a very dear friend quoted with lot of confidence a truth about guys. We can’t stand something we hold dear, or to be more flat-on-the-face, feel ownership of taken away from us. It’s against the basic genetic layout. I am not abnormal so I am governed by the above definition too. I say let go to everyone and at times do to, but the cost paid is extreme dis-satisfaction. I just bear the pain of letting it go, sometimes mixed with the happiness of freeing the bounds. But unbearable even so. Who would want to lose something so dear to them.

Then follows the part that haunts me more. We or rather I don’t want/like to lose because when something dear departs it creates a vaccum somewhere. Vaccum being vaccum pulls anything and everything that it can to fill the gap. The worst part here is the more driven and motivated you are ,in general, the more time and effort one will make to fill that gap and if it doesn’t happen soon the more frustrated one gets, hence even more effort . This goes on until someone shakes you out of it. Now there is no one to shake me out of it!!

That’s where I stand. Waiting for someone to shake me out of my excursions towards filling the gap that’s sending pulsations of  anguish every now and then except when I am not engaged in something demanding. Till then keep listening to Avril Lavigne

After all of the bickering did i tell what’s the real deal?!!!

Henderson wave singapore

Hey Guys,

Here is my first completely genuine attempt at photography with a sony DSC-W270.

All these images are taken without a tripod, will buy one soon.  I am really loving this hobby. Will keep posting more.

Adore your challenges

Though I don’t believe in God, I do believe in struggles. Life would be so worthless without the challenges.

If you are being challenged, be happy, that’s the best thing that can happen to you. A challenge is the struggle to reach to a higher platform.